We all have fears, and we all wish we didn’t, but no amount of wishing and hoping is going to make them disappear.
So how exactly do we “get over” our fears??
I’ll tell you that number one always is AWARENESS. Once you become aware and acknowledge your fear then and only then can you start taking action to change it. So take that long oh so hard look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. What is holding you back from making the changes that you so desire.
Where do our fears come from?
Our brain is the the master controller of our bodies, our perception of our selves, and how we experience the world around us. It is the most complex organ and the one we know the least about. It constantly changes as we learn new information, practice new habits, or simply age. Our environment and genes also play a role in how our brain develops and changes over time.
The Layers of Mind
We do know, thanks to one primary researcher, Carl Jung, who identified that our brain have layers of operation.
We have the two layers that we are aware of
1. Our physical level which is our everyday experience and
2. Our conscious mind which is everyday realities of mind.
We then have deeper levels including our:
3. Preconscious which is more behind the scenes problem solving and our ever powerful
4. Subconscious mind, where our fears are housed. The SCM is the that operates without us even really knowing anything about it. It runs on autopilot for most of our lives and for some their entire lives. We can only exert control over it once we gain awareness.
The last layer is our unconscious primitive mind which is our deepest level of self.
Where our Heartbreak Lives
The subconscious mind takes our entire life’s experiences and records it. Then it uses that recording as a template for all decision making throughout your life. It’s like an overprotective parent that is using your past hurts and heartbreaks as a basis for every decision in your life. It’s trying to keep you safe from having to repeat any hurt, but by doing so it also prevents you from taking any risks.
Growth is in the Risk
Our SCM isn’t out to get us, it’s there to protect us, but it isn’t logical and practical and doesn’t take into consideration that although taking a risk may involve failure and hurt, it could also lead to immense personal growth and expansion and movement into an empowered life full of joy and excitement.
Our SCM is also that negative chatter in our minds. When we consider doing something that is potentially risky it pipes up and tells us all the reasons that we can’t do it and why it’s a terrible idea and how much pain and grief will come if we even try. It does this because as some point in your life a similar situation occurred and it caused you pain. The SCM entered this data into a brain file folder and when a similar situation occurs later in life that folder opens and the SCM goes to work to protect you from experiencing the same pain.
The sad part is though that it also hides who you truly are. It keeps us tucked safely in our bubble of life and keeps us from truly expressing our passions and our gifts because of it’s fear that we may fall and we may get hurt.
What’s the Worst that Could Happen?
This is the question I ask myself anytime an opportunity presents that I feel drawn to try out but fears are standing in my way. My SCM will start chattering away about why I shouldn’t or couldn’t possibly do it, but this one little question can quiet some of that chatter and allow me a moment to consciously decide. What’s the worst that could happen?
What am I Potentially Losing if I Don’t Try?
This is such a powerful question to ask yourself when that negative nelly mind starts telling you why you can’t do something. What is the risk to yourself if you don’t take that opportunity? You could possibly miss out on something incredible. Something that brings your life joy, sparks, passion, fireworks and most importantly growth.